Digging back into the past.
1811 MONDAY May 20th, 2019
Suffering invites knowledge to the helm. In excess, it capsizes the boat.
When humans are left to their lonesome, company is found within the mind. While one soul may inhabit a vessel at a time, several minds may coalesce to form a character; one perceived by a collection of others. We are but a collection of thoughts and emotions alien to our own, and on the assumption they remain malleable, we endlessly seek to reform them to our vision. Rational life, to follow the evolutionary lens of biology, is to project our genes across the pool of humanity. Working with and against the same people evermore, in the belief that we are good--and do equally as much good. But truthfully, how much meaning does it all hold? In a constant rat race to further ourselves, we unconsciously stomp on our own tails, blaming those intertwined with ours alike. Humans endlessly contradict their own nature, seeking philanthropic achievement for the wills of others, but for no cost nor risk to their own hide? Yet we waste lives in wars and die for those to whom we feel a strong attraction. But who am I truly to question such hurricane winds. Humans, as far as I have come to believe, are inherently good, yet all rules hold exceptions, but for those set on a foundation of liquid, nothing is ever static. Perhaps our behavior is far too complex to ration en masse--or it originates in irrationality. Defining "rational" originates from a general consensus on the upmost logical solution to a dilemma. But in the end, rationality is the death match between the subjective opinions of humans. The hardest truth to face is the lack of any set truth in the first place.
Everything is what we define it as, for a sake of convenience and universal agreement. For that reason, we may glide one bit more smoothly through the choppy waves of the angry sea around us. But because to each our own objective picture is drawn, the subjective connection remains untouched. No objective lens binds the two--albeit sure, many share these connections, and in rarer cases they are isolated and unique. And in those cases, so oft we are sated with the answer "oh, he's lost it". This has nonetheless allowed for high cooperation on the species level (wars and other pettier crimes be damned), and fuels the engine of automata driving our discovery forward. And yet, it's all imagined.
Life itself holds no defined meaning--or not that we've discovered. Instead, its nature is unveiled everyday in unique individuals, unique experiences, in each one life lived each waking micro-billionth of a nanosecond. It holds collective yet distinct meaning amongst us, and may be the hardest subject to un-subjectify in part due to the lack of presented social agreeance. Everyone loves to project their values on others, stopping themselves from accepting anything but their own truth. Exceptions exist even here, but the base convictions we hold are reinforced by years of affirmation. To try to mold others into yourself is unfruitful, but rather to open the opportunity for others to question themselves, and you your own, has potential to give rise to a more definite truth.
Sadly enough, no matter how philanthropic one may be, they fall victim to their own selfishness. To live is to project one's own soul into the space their occupy, through whatever socio-economic means necessary. Our unconscious biological mechanisms drive us forward, providing reason, motivation, and on occasion, reward, for an existence. Stealing back these reins proves near impossible, notwithstanding complete separation of the mind from the physical, craving, feasting, covetous mass of flesh. And that probably means death.
Ultimately, life means whatever we will it to. We shape our own lives as much as it returns the favour. Everyone seemingly exists for themselves, and to survive, they must be inherently selfish to some degree. This isn't all bad, and perhaps is necessary, and perhaps allows more good to be done in the end. But there is no shaking the core reason from ourselves. This is life. This is living. Lest I would kill myself for the sake of giving my share to another. But few people think this way, even fewer tragically act upon it. If this wasn't true, civilization would surely cease, and so it persists; and equally as much the reason why millions suffer, day after day, under bombings, gassings, fire, lynching, all ungodly sorts of torment that seemingly only an all-knowing being could muster up from nothing.
Living for yourself is fine, everyone does to some degree, but this does not imply selfishness at all, it implies one's own will to persist. Live intuitively by your own moral compass, and make adjustments as seen fit. Always keep an ear posted, eyes open. And respect that of others for they too inhabit their own shows, their own path, their own inconceivably complicated life full of beauty and horror alike. So be a decent human, and uplift others alongside you. Be good.
DFWYNLM #57
Looking back, much of this seems like mere common sense, and yet evermore it presents itself as seldom practiced. It is a fascinating practice to watch the news, grope through cyberspace for some semblance of a consensus amongst opposing parties, only to be met with polarization, separation, and at last, exhaustion. But to return outwards, to sit down at my favourite local pub and chat up the person beside me knowing nothing of them, feeling the connection of society returning; to peruse a used book and video store, and shoot-the-shit with the owner for a fraction of time, this is bliss, this is the ground truth. And what a privilege it is to escape a forced dichotomy. Even political punnett squares are only a vastly oversimplified projection of our true ideas and thoughts--how easily, how convenient can we force ourselves to be, before pixelating our nature? Our true disposition?
It is a privilege nonetheless to even receive a relatively free flow of information, to never stress over bomb sirens, to sit comfortably with our take-out and iced lattes. It is a privilege to exist in a space. Perhaps we weren't meant to be exposed to this level of globalization in our day-to-day, but without it, how many more atrocities could over government support? How many more genocides could proceed across the world without our attempts to undermine them? It is human nature that our nose should stick itself where it doesn't belong, and so conflictingly, it ends up resting exactly where it was meant to be. By and large, it seems this olfactory system has a strong sense of justice on the individual level. And yet, how that builds governments that turn a blind eye or even support horrendous acts of terror, how that Big Brother tends toward subjugation and conflict--I am no anthropologist, nor political scientist, but that cleft certainly remains morbidly interesting.
Do what you can to support Palestine. To oppose Russia. To fight against policies that further oppression and ignore genocide.
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